Crystalized
by Augustine blues
Summary: Post 2X06 Freddie survives his run in with and is now coming back to the hour. His injuries however, has left him the shell of a man he once was. Maybe a bit of danger will liven him up again. BelxFreddie
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Post 2X06 Freddie survives his run in with and is now coming back to the hour. His injuries however, has left him the shell of a man he once was. Maybe a bit of danger will liven him up again. BelxFreddie

Chapter 1

Poor boy, Minor key

Freddie woke to the ring of his alarm. It had been far to long since he'd heard the familiar sound. He reached over to the night stand turning the clock off and slowly swung his legs out of bed, making his way to the bathroom to get ready. This was supposed to be his first day back at the hour. When he'd come back from Paris he'd been ecstatic about returning. This time the thought of being back to the office made him nervous.

Picking up a tooth brush had become quite a task for freddie. He grabbed at it several times, repeatedly dropping the brush into the bottom of the sink. "Dammit all..."

_"You've suffered from a traumatic brain injury . You've very lucky to still be with us right now." The doctors words were slow and deliberate, tone not alluding to the slightest hint of empathy. "It's going to take things a little time to get back to normal for you. Problems with: memory, motor skills, sleeping habits, and concentration are fairly common. Especially with an injury of this severity." _

Freddie had spent a month in physical therapy to get him up and moving again. He'd been released from the hospital the week previous and told that he would be allowed to return to work on Monday if he was feeling up to it.

Bel had called the night before to tell him not to come in. "It's to soon," she insisted, "you're only going to frustrate yourself." She knew how easily he would get upset when he found himself unable to accomplish the simplest tasks, like brushing his teeth. His hands were by far the biggest obstacle at the moment, namely when he tried to pick things up. He wasn't able to get a grip on things, literally or figuratively. Lucky for him he had Bel. Who had been a huge help to him in this whole process. She would often go to his physical therapy sessions. She'd helped him learn to walk again. Freddie couldn't remember a single day where she hadn't come to see him at the hospital, even if it was only for a little while on her lunch break or after work.

That being said, although Bel had been by his side nothing seemed to have changed between them. Freddie figured that it was probably best if he pulled himself back together proper before mentioning anything about the relationship that had briefly started before this incident.

Bel was at the office early that morning. She hadn't slept well the night before. She's been far to busy thinking through the night of the morning would hold for them. Would Freddie showed up? She hoped not, even if deep down she knew that he would. There was no way to keep Freddie Lyon away from his work or out of her hair.

Over the past month Bel had watched over him. She'd watch him change. Bright, arrogant Freddie,the one that liked to push her buttons, but managed to make her feel like there was no one else in the room. He'd given way to a frustrated, angry boy. He reminded he of a child, trying to learn the simplest skills again. It upset her to see him so distressed. Sometimes he'd be mid sentence and then just stop completely unable to remember what he'd been talking about only moments before.

He still wasn't able to remember most of the incident. According to Freddie. " Last thing I remember was Meeting at the cinema and then I woke up in the hospital." He was able to put enough together to know he'd been attacked by. That was fairly rest of the details were blurred into obscurity. Bel on the other hand could remember everything.

_She'd coming running out of the studio to see Freddie laying in the grass. His face, hair and clothes soaked in blood. His eyes seemed to be focussing and as he looked up at her as she knelt next to him._

_ "Money Penny..." He muttered. _

_ "Goddammit Freddie you...y-you stupid stupid-"Bel's sentence dissolved into sobs. She grabbed his bloody hand holding it tightly. _

_ Freddie at the time was positive that this was going to be the moment that he would die. "I love you...I love you..." He repeated, starting to fade in and out. _

_ "Don't you die on me Freddie! I need you." Bel said. " I love you too Freddie Lyons." _ _She said it a little to late for Freddie to hear her as he's passed out from loss of blood. _

Bel hadn't wanted to be the one to bring it up. She'd been afraid reminding Freddie of this fact would only bring more unneeded stress into his life. She was aware that he still remembered their kiss, how could anyone forget. He hadn't seemed to Keene on bringing up the subject though. When the time was right they would talk about it. Right now was time when Freddie's focus needed to be focused on something else.

The basic morning routine had posed to be a problem for Freddie. The night before had been the first night he'd spent in his apartment without either Bel or Lix around to help him. Bel had said that if he wasn't able to manage by himself then he wasn't ready to be back in the office just yet. That was the stupidest idea Freddie had ever heard...until he dropped a kettle of boiling water on himself trying to make tea. He'd also had to go downstairs and ask Sissy for help buttoning his shirt which he'd become desperately irritated with his inability to do.

Still somehow he managed to get to the office on time. "Morning Money Penny." He said, poking his head into her office. A small smile crossed her face.

" I knew you'd show." She said, shaking her head at the boy standing on the opposite side of her desk.

"Of course, you didn't think you could keep me away. We've got a show to put on." Freddie said.

"No, you're here because I told you not to come and you want to prove to me that you can handle this." Bel shot back, looking back down at the papers on her desk. She wasn't to far from right.

" I can do it and I will." Freddie said, walking out of her office and heading to his own.

In the hallway he came across Hector, late as usual. "Well, if it's not the walking dead man. Welcome back." He said, clapping freddie on the back. Freddie swayed a bit at the force.

" Morning Hector." He said as he kept walking.

The morning went much the same way Bel had thought that it would. Freddie seemed to be getting more annoyed by the minute. The type writer, once the boy's best friend was now his arch nemesis. He couldn't type properly, or manage to change the pages when he messed them up. Isaac as his assistant had offered to do his typing for him so that he wouldn't toss the type writer out the window. To Freddie this had started to seem like a very valid possibility. It was then that Freddie realized even without having to type he couldn't properly express his thoughts to others. Isaac didn't have the heart to point it out to him. Freddie was aware that his thoughts were disjointed and internally he thanked Isaac for allowing him to try anyway.

There was also something else missing. Where he'd been covering what was possibly the biggest story any of them had ever covered in their careers only a month ago, now he was back to covering debutante scandals and things of no real consequence. He was purposefully being left out of anything that really mattered. Those stories were being given to Lix and Hector. Freddie felt as though him being their was just them humoring his ego after his injury. There was no excitement in the job for him, and although he hated to admit it Bel was right. So halfway through the day he disappear to remove himself from a situation so as not to burden them any further.

"Isaac where's Freddie?" Bel asked when she noticed that he'd been missing for a while.

"Not really sure." Isaac said. " He said he was going to give the typewriter another crack so I've been in the projection room looking at some footage."

"I'll...be back in an hour." Bel said, going back to her office to grab her coat.

She stood in front of Freddie's apartment door. The one that his Father had

Lived in. The one that he'd shared with his wife Camille before she left him. In her left hand she held the spare key Freddie had given her to take care of the place while he was in the hospital. She hadn't given it back to him yet incase there was some type of emergency. She slipped the key into the hole, turning it slowly so it wouldn't make a sound. She did the same with the door knob, attempting not to make a sound.

Bel found Freddie sitting on the floor in his bedroom next to him a half emptied bottle of whiskey. She wasn't sure if he'd been working on it for a while or if he'd done that much damage to the bottle since he'd left Lime Grove Studios earlier that afternoon. The Answer turned out to be neither, He'd been unable to get the bottle open. That had been the straw that finally broke the camels back and brought him to tears. Nothing about this was normal. This wasn't Freddie this was a ghost masquerading as Freddie Lyons.

"Have you come to rub it in my face that I should have listened to you or are you going to help me?" Freddie asked, he'd known Bel was standing there although he hadn't bothered to look up at her.

Wordlessly she crossed the room. She picked up the bottle with one and hand with the other pulled Freddie to his feet walking out into the living room. She grabbed 2 cups and put them on the small kitchen table, and poured 2 drinks. She handed one of them to Freddie and sat opposite him. " The doctors told you it wasn't going to happen over night. You're just not ready yet. You need to give yourself a little more time." She said.

"Bel, I'm bored out of my skull. I can't be locked up and stagnant anymore I need something to work on a real story. You're just throwing me a bone so that I'll feel like I'm part of the team again." Freddie snapped. He wasn't entirely wrong about this fact although Bel would never admit it.

"Freddie the pond is a little dry at the moment there's not a whole lot going on the home front right now." Bel said. " After the scandal with Cilente so many people were implicated that we don't have much left to work with."

"I need a challenge Bel, I'm getting dull I can feel it. That's why I concentrate on anything." Freddie insisted.

"No, I'm pretty sure that's got something to do with the multiple blows to the head you took." Bel said. Freddie responded with a role of his eyes.

"That was without a doubt the best story that any of us will ever cover in our careers." Freddie said. " I keep myself awake at night trying to figure out how we're going to top it. You know that we have to."

Bel pulled a cigarette out of her bag. She knew that Freddie was right. If they wanted to keep The Hour going they would have to have a continuous supply of shocking news like they'd provided so far. They would have to find ways to keep topping their biggest scoop with a bigger one. She lit her Cigarette and offered one to Freddie who took it, staring into his empty cup. "You don't need to worry about that right now. I need you to get better so when that next big story comes along you'll be able to write it without forgetting or destroying your type writer."

"It's just my hands Bel, they're the only problem left..." Freddie said.

" And your mind, you can't remember what you're talking about half the time." Bel retorted.

" I can remember what I'm talking about right now just fine." He snapped back.

" Right now, what about in 10 minutes."

"It's still a little fuzzy I know but... I'm starting to remember...the things that happened that night, they've been coming to me in Dreams." Freddie said.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

No one's gonna love you

Freddie had been having a hard time sleeping since the incident. Since he'd been released Bel had spent a few nights at his apartment. She insisted on sleeping on the couch, but even from the living room she could hear Freddie thrashing around in his sleep. Occasionally she'd hear screams coming from his room late at night, or the sound of him startling himself awake. His dreams were being haunted by the memory of the attack.

"What do you remember?" Bel asked.

" Just sporadic things.I'm not sure wether most of them are actual events or just my mind trying to fill in the gaps while I'm asleep." Freddie said, Sticking his glass out for Bel to fill it again. " I remember reciting Abe Lincoln to Cilente and then he was Miss Delaine on the show and then it's all fuzzy again after that."

"Why do you always have to be so... YOU? Can't you ever just hold your tongue. He almost killed you." Bel insisted. It wasn't like they could change anything about what had happened now.

"Well who else would I be? Also, there's one dream I had that I want to ask you about. Like I said, I'm not sure if any of these things actually happened or not." Freddie said.

Bel couldn't swallow. All the sudden she had a dry lump in her throat. She was nervous, already having some idea about what Freddie could possibly want to ask her.

"I had this dream a couple of nights ago where... It was after I was attacked and I was laying in the grass out in front of Lime Grove studios and I was awake and you were sitting in the grass with me... and You told me that you loved me. You said I wasn't allowed to die on you because you needed me." Freddie said.

"Unfortunately Freddie that was just a dream." Bel said, Now is just not the right time. Freddie begs to differ though.

"oh..." He muttered. This whole experience had given him quite the scare about his own mortality. That was a lesson that Bel hoped he would look back at before making irrational decisions. "It felt real to me." Freddie stood up. "I'm going to go have a shower. Shouldn't you get back to the office?"

"I'll wait. What if you fall or something. I'll just turn on the tele or something." Bel said.

"You worry to much. My legs have been pretty stable for a while now." Freddie reminded Bel.

"I know. I just, I worry about you alright. I felt so bad about leaving you here alone last night but I was hoping you'd realize you weren't ready to go back to the office yet." Bel said.

"Maybe it was a good thing. If you don't leave me on my own I won't have to work at getting things back to normal to where I can do them myself. Might take a few dozen tries but I can get the hang of things." Freddie said. Bel rolled her eyes.

"Not without breaking something you can't."

"That's not true I haven't broken anything yet today." Freddie said.

"No you've just shouted abuses at them." Freddie had no response to this. He only walked off in the direction of the shower.

Bel sat down on the couch and started flipping through day time Television shows, looking for something that wasn't total rubbish and thinking about wether or not she'd done the right thing to tell,that it was all just a dream. She'd have to tell him eventually,and the longer she waited the angrier with her he would be when it finally did come out.

"Freddie." She called to him walking into the bathroom. She pulled back the shower curtain.

" The hell Money Penny!" He said.

"I lied. It wasn't a dream. It happened." She said. averting her eyes from him Freddie said nothing in reply. After a few moments of uncomfortable silence he grabbed the woman in front of him pulling her into the shower with him, pulling her close to his body and kissing her. Bel stood there, pressed against his chest waiting for him to say something, not caring that she was getting soaked.

" I had a feeling it did. It all seemed to real to have been a dream." He said, holding her tightly.

"I was so worried about you. I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost night and when I got to you... There was so much blood Freddie. You kept whispering Money Penny, Money Penny, over and over. You told me You loved me and I couldn't take it I just couldn't stand the idea of a that being the last time that I would ever talk to you."

"You don't have to worry anymore." Freddie said, smoothing Bel's hair down with his right hand, left hand still wrapped around her waist. Both his hands shook violently.

"I'm getting soaked, I'll let you get back to your shower." Bel said, pulling away from Freddie. He shook his head.

"I'm done anyways, let me get you some dry clothes." He said, reaching to turn off the shower. He fumbled with the handles for a bit before Bel reached over and turned it off. He pressed another kiss to her cheek and got out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist and handing one to Bel as well.

She Followed Freddie into his bedroom. Despite the towel she'd draped around her shoulders her clothes still dripped water onto the floor. Freddie handed her a pair of pants as well as a shirt that she could change into before turning his back to her so she could change and trying to put his own clothes on. He settled for pants and an undershirt. Anything more was just unnecessary at the moment.

"So do you still love me then?" He asked once he'd gotten changed.

"Freddie are we really going to talk about this right now?" Bel asked.

"Absolutely. Make my day a little brighter." Freddie said. Bel sighed, she loved Freddie she really did. This new Freddie though, he wasn't her Freddie. He was much more distant. His wit and ambition seemed to have been sucked away from him and replaced angst and a Jaded outlook that belonged to a man twice his age.

"Freddie you've been drinking." She said, trying to avoid the conversation she didn't want to happen.

" Not that much." Freddie shot back. Her avoidance told him all he needed to know. " and apparently not nearly enough." He walked out of the room and off towards the kitchen to bury himself in the bottle of whiskey.

"Freddie..." Bel called after him. She followed, grabbing his wrist. He turned to face her. " You haven't been yourself later. I think we should hold off on talking about us until you're feeling better. Until you've recovered."

"Well what if this is as good as it gets Bel? What if I'm like this forever? I need to know.

"I'm not ready to answer that Freddie." Bel said. Looks like they could both use another drink.

" I knew getting out of bed this morning was a waste of time. I should have listened to you." Freddie said, he's never one to admit he's wrong easily but he knows when he's been beaten. "You don't have to stay around and take pity on me. I'll be fine alone."

"It's not pity Freddie I care about you." Bel said.

"That's not enough! Not anymore." Freddie snapped, downing the drink in his cup. " Has anyone gotten a hold of Camille. She ought to know what happened. She's my wife after all. She'll come back if she knows what happened."

"If you want her here then why haven't you mentioned it all this time?" Bel asked, She's got a feeling that Freddie is only bringing up Camille to rile her up.

Freddie didn't answer. He got up from the table and moved to go sit on the couch. He wanted to get away from Bel. Try to collect his thoughts. He didn't want to go to far though. He never wanted to be to far from her.

"I'd certainly love you more then she ever did." Bel said. She fidgeted with something in her coat pocket. It was the letter that she'd written to Freddie when he was in America but never sent. The one that she'd been reading the night he'd turned up in front of the studio. "When she first left you, you said you didn't miss her. That it was me that you missed. You brought up how I'd never written you back while you were in America." She paused debating how to broach the subject. "I did write you back. I knew I'd never send the letter. I was to scared, but I did write it. I would have told you when you came but. I planned on telling you the night I came over. Then I met Camille. I was furious that you could have gotten married. I was jealous of her, so jealous you can't image. you're supposed to be mine Freddie."

"You could have had me anytime you wanted me. I was never exactly subtle about how I felt." Freddie said, refusing to look at her. Bel stood behind the couch, clutching the letter with one hand. She pulled it out of her pocket and set it in Freddie's lap, walking away from him so that she could read it. Freddie finished the letter and laid it down on the couch next to him.

"I let myself fall in love with Camille because I didn't think you'd ever be honest with me and I couldn't spend the rest of my life waiting on a woman who couldn't do something as simple as tell me the truth." Freddie said.

"I couldn't stand admitting to an arrogant, insufferable know it all that he was right ." Bel said.

"No, you were right in your letter it's because you're a coward." Freddie said. "I want you to say it to my face and not just because you think I'm dying Bel."

"I-I love you Freddy Lyons you magnificent, stubborn, egotistical Jerk. I love you regardless of how much you constantly make me despise you because all of those things get out weighed by the fact that I can't live without you. There's no one else. There's just you and there will only ever be you as hard as I've tried to make things be otherwise"


	3. Chapter 3

Freddie let a smile start t creep across his face. Like a child that got exactly what he'd wanted for Christmas. Bel was his equivalent to an Official Red Ryder Carbine- Action 200 shot range model air rifle. "I love you too Bel Rowley... and I think with you I could get better." He said. He walked over and kissed Bel on the forehead.

"Oh get that grin off your face." She said swatting at him, " You don't have to be so smug about it."

"On he contrary I do. I think this is absolutely news worth as a matter of fact I think we ought go back to the office and tell everyone that we're an item now." Freddie said.

"They're already gone for the evening Freddie. Who says we're an item anyways. I never agreed to that." Bel protested.

"Oh, c'mon Bel. You admit that you love me, what more is there to it with us. It was already relatively assumed as common knowledge!" Bel couldn't help but smile.

"I think, My dear that his may require to toast." She said getting up and refilling their glasses with whiskey. "To the future whatever it may hold."

" I think you're just not drunk enough yet to deal with me." Freddie said. He drank his cup in a single gulp and then started looking around the apartment. He walked out into the hallway after fumbling a bit with the door handle.

"What on earth are you doing?" Bel asked, walking towards the door.

"I'm trying to remember if Dad had sealed off the roof access for the building or not." Freddie said staring up at the ceiling.

" The roof, Freddie I don't think that's such a-"

"NONSENSE!" He cut her off. " It's a perfectly good idea." He walked to the opposite end of the hallway and pulled down a hatch from the ceiling. Behind it there was a ladder "Trust me, it's a good idea." He repeated.

Bel followed, climbing the ladder up to the roof with Freddie. Luckily he didn't seem to have to much trouble with the climb. The building wasn't exceptionally tall, but there was still a nice view from the top. The air was cool outside, feeling almost as if it were about to snow. Bel wished that she had brought her coat up to the rood with her. Freddie remedied her chills rather quickly though, wrapping his arms around her as best he could with the way that they would shake.

"This is lovely Freddie." Bel said, looking around at all the lights of London, most of them towering above them in the distance. "Why have we never been up here before."

"I'm drunk and it seemed like a good idea." Freddie said, stifling a small laugh by kissing Bel's neck. "also since I couldn't go tell everyone at the office I though I do this instead. "I LOVE THIS GIRL!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. Bel blushed a deeps shade of red, almost falling down from laughter. Freddie was beaming.

"There are people sleeping!" Bel reminded him.

"I'm aware. I needed to do that. I'm done now." He said.

"You are ridicules Freddie Lyons." Bel said. Freddie smiled at her and sat against the wall of the roof, his legs were getting a bit tired. Bel sat next to him.

"This is the best I've felt since the incident. I miss being happy." Freddie said, looking momentarily down at his feet. His usual ego and confidence were nowhere to be found recently.

"What are you so upset about. your doctor says that moving around will get easier, you've been improving constantly. You can't be so hard on yourself Freddie." Bel encouraged.

"That's not it. Well, that's not all of it anyway. That story was the biggest thing I'll ever get the chance at in my career it's over and I'm 27. What now? Where am I going to find that next big story." Freddie said.

"Oh you'll track something down you always do." Bel assured him.

"Yes but nothing will ever be as big as uncovering a nuclear scandal! Also, I was supposed to be the one interviewing , not Hector." Freddie said. " I didn't get to deliver the story that I-"

"We." Bel interjected.

"We worked so hard to pursue. My career is over so what's left for me? I'll loose my mind if I don't have something to chase. Not to mention the fact that I CAN'T physically chase a story right now." Freddie said. " My life is over."

"Oh stop it. Just stop it Freddie." Bel Insisted. " You got hurt following a story that you loved and if you hadn't then it never would have been told by you, Hector, or anyone else for that matter. There will always be another story and you have years still to chase it down. Stop being so melodramatic." Bel said.

"Oh you think I'm being melodramatic now? Why don't you go get your face smashed in and see if you feel melodramatic afterwards... I'm sorry no don't do that actually." Freddie said.

"I think you're just drunk. As lovely as this is I think it might be time for us to get down off this roof and go to sleep." Bel said.

"I think you're right, we've got work in the morning." Freddie said. Bel sighed.

"Freddie, I don't think-"

"I'm going and you will not convince me otherwise." Freddie said, getting to his feet and offering Bel a hand up even though he knew he wouldn't be able to pull her up.

That night was the first that Freddie slept through the night without waking from flashes of the beating he'd taken haunting his dreams. He woke up feeling a refreshed. The day luckily was off to a good start, not to mention the fact that for the first time he got to wake up with Bel. He slipped out of bed, trying his best not to wake her. He walked out into the kitchen to try and make some coffee but, yet again he was running into problems,dumping coffee all over the counter before finally getting enough into the coffee pot.

"Need a hand?" Bel asked appearing from the bed room.

"No I've got it already thank you." Freddie said.

"Oh you got it all right, you got it everywhere." Freddie shrugged and began trying to clean up the coffee off the counter.

"If I'm ever going to be normal again I've just got to do things myself…"


End file.
